How Do I Cure Loneliness?

Loneliness is not part of God’s good creation. In fact, it wasn’t long after God made the first human that He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) So God made another human for the man to have a friend. We can even look at God Himself and see the opposite of loneliness – the active relationship of the trinity. There’s not enough time to analyze all that God, His Word, and His world, tell us about the struggle and problem with loneliness. And everyone asks, “how do I cure loneliness?”

Well, we need to start with another question.

If loneliness isn’t part of God’s good creation, then why is it here? Why do we feel lonely?

Loneliness is a direct result of humanity’s rebellion against God. It’s one of the thousands upon thousands of issues we face because we’ve collectively, as a whole, sinned against Him. Now, I want to be very careful here in how this is said: if you’re lonely today, it’s not because you did something really wrong and now God’s mad at you. You experience loneliness because “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

The two greatest commandments are to love God with all you are and love others as yourself. We were created by God for this very purpose – to love Him and love others. Obviously this implies relationship – close relationship. But when our first parents rebelled against God’s good plan (Genesis 3:6), God, being a good God, couldn’t be in perfect relationship with sinful humanity. This resulted in an external separation from our first parents and God (“therefore the LORD God sent [them] out from the garden”)[1], which was caused first by an internal separation. Because of this, a barrier was put up between God and humanity. This barrier causes every wrong thing in this world – including loneliness.

So What?

Why do we need to know this?

The root of the hurt and pain you feel from loneliness is not going to be cured by gaining friends, but by gaining Jesus.

You see, God looked upon humanity and was both compassionate (He desires relationship with us) and angry (He hates sin and can’t abide with it). So, in an act of love and justice, He sent His One and only Son to live a sinless life, bear the sins of all humanity, die to pay the penalty for those sins, and then rise victoriously in order to offer new life. When someone repents of their sin and believes in faith that the gospel is true, they no longer are sinners in the eyes of God, but saints. All because of Jesus.

This new life that Christ offers is the starting point in removing the barrier between God and humanity. Paul makes it clear in Romans 5:1: “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Peace with God, not separation from God.

This is the first step in curing loneliness: Recognizing and rejoicing in how Jesus made a way for there to be peace between God and humanity. Will the barrier still be there? Yes. It will always be there until we enter into heaven. But can it be chipped away at? Yes. The Holy Spirit daily conforms us more and more into the perfection of Jesus.

So, whether or not you’re a Christian, maybe the best practical thing to cure your loneliness is to be alone with Jesus. That’s the first step.

Realize the Friend you have in Jesus; either for the first time, or, in my case, over and over again.

[1] Genesis 3:23